There is always more than one path
Even when it feels as though there is no choice.
I spent years telling myself that I had no choice but to stay at my old full-time job. Even though staying there meant I also had to work an additional part-time job to make ends meet. At the same time, I was also a full-time student and a husband and father.
There was nothing inherently unlikable about the job itself. The work I was doing was average; it was close enough to something I was passionate about that I didn’t mind doing it — and I worked with some great people. So why should I have left way sooner than I did?
The bill comes at the end.
As I gave days, weeks, months, and years to the job, it became harder to see what that time was costing me personally. I lived in the “one foot in front of the other” mindset and didn’t realize just how much I was giving.
Sure, I was aware that I averaged 20 minutes a day with my one-year-old on weekdays. Yes, I recognized that my closest relationships were all coworkers (which isn’t bad). But what I missed was that by choosing to see my current path as the “only path,” I failed to see all of the other paths I could take.
Other paths that would potentially actually give me the freedom to get to know my one-year-old. The chance to own my time instead of feeling as though it was owned by someone else.
Until I left, I was blind to how much it cost me personally to stay.
On day one of being free, I awoke to the feeling of being free. Yes, that freedom comes with its own set of stressors and pressure — life costs money, which doesn’t grow on trees, but I was finally free to prioritize the things that matter most.
I’m not bitter about the time I gave away, but there are moments of sharp regret. If I could go back four years and give myself one piece of advice, I would tell myself to remember that there are always other options. The belief that “this is the ONLY way” kept me from recognizing that not only was the path I was on was one of many.
